Or, why I quit politics and became a washing machine salesman.

But seriously. Thanks go out to NYCO for digging up a transcript of the Democratic primary debate – which may likely be the only one before the September primary – between Eliot Spitzer and Tom Suozzi.

That certainly did make it easier for those of us who happened to be more interested in Jeopardy! Tuesday night.

What did we learn from the transcript?

• We will not be changing our affiliation from unaffiliated to Democrat for the sake of the primary.
• We can't vote for either the pro-death penalty Spitzer or the anti-gay marriage Suozzi.

And we definitely can't vote for that fascist the Republicans are putting up.

Howie Hawkins should drop his senatorial bid (though he'd be my man in that race, too) and run for governor. He'd do us more good in Albany than in Washington – and Hillary Clinton does us less harm in Washington than Spitzer, Suozzi or John Faso does us in Albany.

It pains me to say, but I may be leaving the governor line blank in November.

UPDATE: Ooh. The marketing machine is rolling. We got an e-mail from the campaign of actor and author Malachy McCourt (yes, that's Frank McCourt's brother), who is running as a Green Party candidate. He claims an endorsement from the New Paltz Times (you'll remember New Paltz as the progressive town that first started marrying gay folk in New York state), and has what I'm afraid is a really bad campaign slogan:

Don’t Waste Your Vote. Give It To Me.

UPDATE II: So that campaign slogan I don't like so much reminded me a bit of the film Brewster's Millions, with its "Vote for none of the above" campaign. Funny thing is, McCourt was in the film.

UPDATE III: I don't mean to ride McCourt so hard. He's got a good vision for the state, though it's a vision that would probably be better accomplished from the Senate. Maybe he and Howie could switch campaigns.